Day 2: Zoning in-Being all there in the moment

To continue from Day 1-the challenge is still about working on being there for your key relationships. Day 2 talks about not simply just showing up, but being present in the moment as well. No matter what you may think every single one of us longs to know we are worth someones total attention. It is human nature to want to be wanted in some way by someone-especially if you yourself consider that relationship meaningful. 

When was the last time someone dropped everything they were doing and focused on you, that they really listened to what you had to say? It might be hard to think of because it seems that we all allow simple distractions to take even just moments of our attention away and that can have an effect on the person you are interacting with. As children we were so much better at expressing this want and need for attention because we demanded it. We all can see when children smack the table or call out Mom, Mom, Mom...until you finally give them your attention. All they want is someone to pay attention to them because what they are about to say or do is important to them. As we get older this desire is still present we just seem to be more timid about demanding it. Most fear that it's comes off as too much, or makes them look weak and vulnerable to the other person and eventually will drive the person that we want attention from away. If they so easily would be driven off because you just wanted to feel like you mattered to them-then isn't it a good thing that they walked away? If you matter then something as simple as asking for there attention when they are present isn't going to make them walk in the other direction. Remember how you feel when you are in this moment so that you can remember to not make others feel it when it is your attention they want. 

"Where ever you are, be all there" consciously make yourself aware of this and practice it! I am definitely at fault when it comes to this, I need to work on being all there because I do let a text or a phone call or something I have on my to-do list to get in the way of truly engaging in a conversation or giving someone my undivided attention. However, I am the first to think when someone does that to me that I must not be worth their time and they have something else they would rather be doing right now. When you find yourself zoning out or thinking about something else you have to get done-become conscious and pull yourself back and think where ever you are, be all there. This will make a huge difference because it makes the other person feel like you value them and believe they are worth your full focus. Now remember this whole challenge is not for every single relationship you have, it is for your key relationships. There are a lot of relationships we have with others that are very surface level and that's not the ones we are talking about working on. 

We lose focus because we are always rushing to get somewhere to do something, our society has made us feel we are lazy and not productive when we aren't moving at high speeds to get things done. We try to out due each other by how busy we are in a day and how much we had to get done on our to-do list. This needs to stop-honestly what is the point in racing through life and racking up awards, degrees, and deals if in the end that's all there is to show but no one to share the experience and celebrate with? You can lose out on relationships and meaningful experiences because you rushed through to do something that you may have thought was the most important task-when if you had slowed down you'd see the company on the journey was the best part the whole time. 

If you want a heart to heart relationship with someone then you need to wipe the fairytale idea out of your head because to have a deep relationship things get messy. The beauty is in the struggle! So many people tell you it should be easy and you shouldn't have to work hard at it but for the most part this isn't true. It shouldn't be a constant battle but you are going to have moments that are both pleasant and moments that are hard, but that struggle makes it all worth it and brings around the appreciation for it. The book said it perfectly:

"If you are looking for someone to be your everything, don't look around-look up! God is the only one who can be everything. By expecting perfection from the flesh, you ask more out of someone else than what you can provide yourself."

 You have to be unselfish and see that what we ourselves want is what others want too. The challenge for day 2 is to think about which key relationship this week you are going to be in person with and then focus on being there wholly with them. Block out your own needs and worries and make them feel like at that moment they are the most important person in the world to you.